


Without A Shadow Of A Doubt

by angelus2hot



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Begging, Hair Kink, M/M, Romance, Slash, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 08:46:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/963956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelus2hot/pseuds/angelus2hot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John gets hurt, Ronon blames himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without A Shadow Of A Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Without A Shadow Of A Doubt  
>  **Fandom:** Stargate Atlantis  
>  **Characters/Pairing:** John/Ronon, Elizabeth, Rodney, Keller, Zelenka  
>  **Rating:** NC-17  
>  **Word Count:** 5,092  
>  **Summary:** John gets hurt, Ronon blames himself.  
>  **A/N:** written for wings128's [Writing Meme](http://wings128.livejournal.com/48898.html) for the words Taken, Trauma, Taste, Teasing, Twizzlers

Ronon paced the floor as he waited with increasing amounts of impatience for the doctor to come in with the news on John. Four hours, fourteen minutes and fifty-three seconds had passed since he had carried John in through the Stargate to the infirmary. And still in all that time he hadn’t heard one thing, not one crumb of information on how Sheppard was doing.

A shudder ran through him at the remembered panic he’d felt as he watched John fall to the ground, lifeless. It was all his fault! If he hadn’t taken his eyes off of John this would never have happened. A huge sigh rippled through his body and echoed around the room. One tiny misstep, the one moment he didn’t have Sheppard in his sights, one lucky shot and the man he... He shook his dreadlocks away from his shoulders and stopped himself in mid-thought. John would be okay. He had to be. 

“Ronon?” Doctor Keller’s voice was soft as she walked into the room.

Ronon stopped in his tracks, there was a mixture of pity and sadness on her face but he wanted neither of those things from her. All he wanted was for her to save John.

“How is he?” 

She shook her head. “I can only tell you what I told Doctor Weir.”

For a minute anger beat at him that she had left him to worry all that time while she told... Ronon took a deep breath to calm himself. _Of course she had told Weir first. She was the commander._

“I’m not going to lie to you, Ronon. John’s injuries were quite extensive. His body has suffered more trauma than it should be even humanly possible to liv....” She paused at the look on Ronon’s face and quickly amended, “to handle. But he’s come through surgery and his vitals are strong.”

“Will he make it?” The words felt like such a betrayal of John the second they left his mouth, it was as if he somehow doubted John, but it was too late to recall them. 

Doctor Keller looked at the strong man standing in front of her and she knew with one word she had the power to destroy him. Thankfully it wasn’t a word she had to say. “Once he wakes from the anesthesia...”

Ronon couldn’t stop from repeating the question. “Will he make it?”

“He’s got a lot of healing to do but Colonel Sheppard will be fine. As long as he follows my orders.” There were other warnings she should have said; things like barring infection but she couldn’t bring herself to say them. Not to Ronon. It was enough that she had told Weir.

“Don’t worry, Doc. He will.” Ronon knew from experience John made a lousy patient even with the littlest of things but this time was different. John would follow every little thing Doctor Keller prescribed for him to do whether he wanted to or not. He would make sure of it. “May I see him?”

She nodded her head. “But only for a few minutes. He needs his rest.”

Without another word Ronon made his way to John’s side.

Ten minutes later she went to tell Ronon he had to leave but she was stopped by the scene playing out before her. Ronon knelt on the floor, his head rested on the bed by John’s hand as he prayed. 

“The doc says you’ll be fine but you have to wake up.” His hands clenched together at his own helplessness. “Please. John.”

His whispered pleas to a deity she wasn’t sure he even believed in tore at her heart. She quickly backed out of the room before Ronon knew she was there. It wouldn’t hurt to give him a few more minutes alone with John.

 

 

Doctor Keller watched her patient as he breathed quietly in and out signaling a deep restful sleep. Thank goodness! It had been a trying time. Not quite four weeks had passed since John’s surgery and although she was pleased with his prognosis she couldn’t say the same thing of his being a patient. She had never in all of her time as a doctor met someone who loathed being hurt or in the infirmary quite like John Sheppard. The man was forever trying his best to leave his sick bed before he was ready. Three times in the first week she had found him lying on the floor, his stitches reopened and blood beginning to seep through his gown. Four times in the last week she’d had to threaten to call security in just to make him stay in the bed. She only wanted to keep John in the infirmary for a couple of more days just to be sure everything was fine before she released him. But with all his impatience she was beginning to look forward to the day of his release even more than he was. Her soft sigh echoed through the room as she turned and walked away.

Ronon stood hidden in the shadows, waiting for the doctor to leave. He stayed still until he was sure she was gone before he made his way to John’s bed. 

He had barely touched John’s hands when eyes flew open. 

“Ronon?” He was relieved it was Ronon and not Keller again. They had just had another go around about his release and he had come out on the losing end again. He didn’t understand what the big worry was. All of his tests had come back normal; he was beginning to think she was being overly cautious.

Ronon quickly placed his hand over John’s mouth. “Shh, keep your voice down.” 

Although John’s eyes widened in confusion he nodded his head.

With his hand still on John’s mouth, Ronon began to whisper, “I’m taking you out of here.” He paused for a moment to stare down at the man before him. The man he had almost lost only a few short weeks ago. “But only if you want to be taken.”

Heat slammed into his body at Ronon’s choice of words. He had wanted that very thing from Ronon almost since the first moment he had met him. John shook his head to clear his thoughts he was pretty sure that wasn’t the kind of taken Ronon had meant. _Damn it._

Ronon misinterpreted John’s response and quickly removed his hand from John’s mouth as he backed away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you wanted to stay here any longer.” _How could he have been so mistaken?_

“What?” John whispered harshly. “Of course I want to get the hell out of here.” Carefully, he slid from the bed until he was standing on his own two feet. A huge smile graced his face. _Hey, he didn’t fall over! That was a good sign._ “Lead the way.”

An answering smile began to spread across Ronon’s as he grabbed John’s arm to steady him just in case. “What about your clothes?”

John shook his head. He couldn’t risk it. Doctor Keller could be back any minute and then he would never get out of there. “Forget it. Let’s just get out of here.”

His smile widened as John tried to hold the back of his gown together as he rushed out of the infirmary. The flaps of the gown kept playing peekaboo, giving Ronon enticing glimpses of John’s ass. He had to admit at least to himself it was the best view he had ever had the pleasure of seeing.

 

 

“What do you mean John’s missing?” Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed as she turned to stare at the doctor.

“I mean that he isn’t in the infirmary.” Jennifer stared back at her. “I went to check on him a few minutes ago and he wasn’t there. But his clothes were.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know. The last time I checked on him was early about one in the morning.

Rodney walked briskly towards Elizabeth’s office. He had finally figured out how to make one of the ancient machines to work, not that he had ever doubted himself of course but still Elizabeth should know what a genius he was. As he rounded the corner he spotted Elizabeth and Jennifer deep into a conversation. His first instinct was to turn back around and keep walking but for some unknown reason he stopped. “What’s going on?”

“John’s missing.” 

“Missing?”

Worry etched lines in Elizabeth’s forehead as she turned to Rodney. “Have you seen him?”

Rodney shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen him today. I did stop by the infirmary yesterday and John was grousing about getting out of there.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe he decided to leave.”

Jennifer whirled around to face him. “What, he just decided to leave without any pants on?”

“Maybe you scared the pants off him.” Rodney snickered. _And everyone said he didn’t have a sense of humor._ At the glare Jennifer shot his way he quickly held up his hands in mock surrender. “All I’m saying is that you can be scary sometimes with your over....” He let his sentence trail off as he stared into her narrowed eyes. “You know what? I’m just going to shut up now.”

“That’s a good idea, Rodney.” Jennifer turned toward Elizabeth so what are we going to do about John missing.”

“We should start a....”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about John.” 

Elizabeth jumped at Zelenka’s voice right behind her. She ignored her racing heart as she spun around. “Why would you say that? Have you seen him?”

Radek Zelenka rubbed the back of his neck before he pushed his glasses further onto the bridge of his nose. “I... uh... I saw him going into...”

“For gods’ sake man spit it out.” Rodney snapped. He was not a patient man.

Zelenka shot Rodney a nasty look before he cleared his throat and tried again. “I saw John and Ronon going into Ronon’s quarters a little while ago.”

“And you didn’t think to tell anyone?” Jennifer’s hands were on her hips as she turned to stare at Zelenka.

He quickly shook his head. “It’s not my responsibility to know what John is doing in a hospital gown without pants on going into Ronon’s quarters. As a matter of fact I’d just like to forget I saw the whole thing.”

Silence fell over them as they continued to stare at Zelenka. Jennifer was the first one to speak up. “Dr. Weir, I’d like two orderlies to go with me and help retrieve Colonel Sheppard.” 

They all turned to look at Jennifer, their mouths opened in shock.

Elizabeth shook her head. “I don’t think that would be a good idea just now.” 

“Why? He should be...” 

Before Jennifer could finish speaking Rodney grabbed her arm and began to usher her away. “I’ll explain it to her, Elizabeth.”

Not another word was spoken as they all went their separate ways without once looking at each other.

 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” They had only been in Ronon’s quarters for a few minutes and Ronon was already getting the idea that this hadn’t been a smart move on his part.

“I told you I’m fine. I should have been released a few days ago but Jennifer just wanted to keep me for observation.” He really had no one to blame but himself. If he hadn’t tried to leave before he was ready and tore his stitches open in the first week he probably would have been released by now. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a red package lying on Ronon’s bedside table. “What’s that?” 

“Oh, I picked those up the last time we were on Earth.” John couldn’t help but notice how Ronon’s muscles bunched beneath his shirt as he shrugged his shoulders and quickly picked up the pack of _Twizzlers_ and shoved them in the drawer. “I wanted to give them a try.”

Although he wanted to, John didn’t say a word. Of all the candy to choose from on Earth and Ronon had decided to buy _Twizzlers_. John shook his head. Next time he would have to introduce him to a _Hershey’s Kiss_. He closed his eyes as his body began to tremble at the thought of unwrapping one of the kisses; popping it in Ronon’s mouth and then kissing him as the chocolate melted across both of their tongues. A low groan escaped him at the thought.

“What’s wrong? You hurting? Cold?” 

John slowly opened his eyes to see Ronon directly in front of him concern shiny bright in his eyes. “I...” _What the hell could he say? I want you so badly that I’m fantasizing about feeding you chocolate and then having my way with you? And damn would he like to make love with Ronon. To feel him buried deep inside of him, their bodies slick with sweat as they writhed and strained against each other seeking the ultimate pleasure, the ultimate release._

“Come on, John.” He reached out and touched the side of John’s face. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I want you.” John’s eyes widened as the words tumbled from his mouth.

The shocked look on Ronon’s face mirrored his own but before he could say anything Ronon pulled him into his arms and stared deep into his eyes. “Say it again.”

“I want you.”

A deep sigh of contentment coursed through Ronon’s veins at John’s words. He had waited so long, wanted John for so very long. “I’ve waited for this moment.” He gently kissed John’s lips before he pulled back. “I won’t hurt you.”

That was one promise that John didn’t doubt at all. “I know. I trust you.”

Somehow, before he even knew it was happening, John found himself lying on Ronon’s bed, his hospital gown lying forgotten on the floor.

As he eased on the bed beside John, Ronon couldn’t pull his eyes away from the angry red line that over time would become a scar. He leaned down and gently brushed the puckered skin with a kiss.

It was all John could do not to laugh as Ronon’s dreadlocks tickled his skin. 

Ronon raised his head the question written plainly on his face.

“Your hair tickled.”

A wicked grin began to spread across his face as in idea formed in his mind. “You’re ticklish?” 

“Yeah, but I don’t like it. So whatever it is you’re thinking you can just knock it off.”

“Are you sure you don’t like it, John?” He glanced down John’s body pointedly as his grin widened. There was no way the man could deny his cock had already begun to harden. 

Once more Ronon leaned his head down, this time he took great care in purposely dragging his hair down the length of John’s body and back up again. 

“I’m serious, Ronon. Don’t...” His words were cut off with a groan as Ronon’s hair almost but not quite tickled his balls. He swallowed hard. It was almost too much to take. 

Ronon trailed his hair up and down John’s body until the man was a trembling mass. There was no part of John he didn’t caress with his hair except for the one part that jutted forward seeking attention. A growl of possession rumbled deep in his chest as John began to squirm and moan in earnest.

“Ronon!” His body trembled violently. The feelings were so intense he couldn’t stop shaking. 

Ronon didn’t bother to stop. “What’s wrong, John?”

A guttural groan escaped him as one of Ronon’s dreadlocks caressed his ribcage. “Damn it! You know what’s wrong.”

A smile tugged at his lips as he dragged his dreadlocks closer to John’s cock. “I thought you didn’t like to be tickled. Isn’t that what you said?” He leaned closer as he took one of his dreadlocks in his hand and circled around John’s cock without touching it.

His body arched off the bed as a wave of frustrated pleasure engulfed him. “Ronon!” 

His dreadlocks whipped against John’s body as he shook his head. “Oh, no, John. That’s not enough. I want to hear you beg.”

John couldn’t help but stiffen at his words. A Lieutenant Colonel wasn’t supposed to beg. He was supposed to endure torture, and that’s what it felt like Ronon was doing to him. But all thoughts of endurance left him as Ronon’s hair circled ever closer to where he so desperately wanted it to touch him.

“Come on, John. You can do it. Beg me.” He punctuated each word with a feather light kiss against John’s skin. “All you have to do is say please and I’ll give you what you want.”

Shivers danced down John’s spin as Ronon followed his kisses by dragging his hair lightly across John’s balls. “Please, Ronon!” Was ripped from deep within him as lightning rushed through his veins.

“Shh, it’s okay, John.” He placed his large hand on John’s stomach to hold him still.

John’s eyes rolled back in his head as Ronon finally wrapped dreadlocks around his cock and gently began to pull them loose. With each brush, each caress of hair on his skin the incredible sensations brought him closer and closer to the edge. A loud moan escaped his parched lips as molten lava raced through him. 

“Fuck me.” John tried to make his tone sound commanding but instead it came out in a whispered plea as he pushed himself deeper into Ronon's dreadlocks. He had never felt like this before; So desperate for release.

Ronon shook his head as he disentangled his hair from around John’s erection and sat up. “I can’t make love to you.”

“What the hell do you mean you can’t?”

“It could hurt you. And I won’t risk that.” Never again would John be hurt because of him.

“What the hell do you think this is doing?” John glanced down at his dick straining for release against his stomach.

Ronon couldn’t help but smile even as he shook his head once more. “I’m sorry, John. I didn’t mean for it to go this far.

“Oh please, Ronon. Tell me you’re not going to leave me like this.” It was all he could do not to take matters in his own hands. “You can’t leave me hanging.” He had never in his life had to deal with a case of blue balls and he didn’t want to start today.

“Shh.” Ronon ran his thumb over John’s full bottom lip before he leaned down to kiss him gently on the lips. “Relax, John. I was just teasing.” His fingers danced lightly across John’s erection. “I would never leave you like this.”

“I thought you said it could hurt me.” The minute he said the words he could have kicked his own ass for reminding Ronon what he’d said but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. 

“I have no intention of hurting you.”

John tried to sit up but Ronon once more stopped him with a hand on his stomach. “I’m not going to fuck you. But I am going to make love to you.”

“But...” John bit his lip to keep the question from spilling out.

“There are other ways of making love, John.” He moistened his lips with his tongue as he stared down at John’s lap. “The whole time you were enjoying my hair caressing your cock the only thing I could think of was how badly I wanted to taste you. I want to feel you harden further in my mouth, I want to caress the length of you with my tongue before I feel you convulse against my throat as I swallow you whole.” Ronon lowered his head towards John as if to show him exactly what he meant but he turned his head away at the last moment and reigned moist kisses on John’s thigh.

A soft hiss brought him up short. “Did I hurt you?”

John quickly shook his head. “No. But your clothes....” His body was so hypersensitive even the feel of clothes against his skin was too much.

Laughter bubbled up and overflowed. “Don’t tell me you have a clothes kink too.”

“Not usually. But apparently I have a kink for everything when it comes to you.” He admitted softly.

Ronon was at a loss for words. Without a word he stood and quickly divested himself of his clothes.

A lump formed in John’s throat as he stared at the expanse of skin being bared for his delectation. He couldn’t stop himself from staring at the glorious body. He didn’t know what part of Ronon he wanted to touch first.

The minute Ronon returned to the bed John reached for him. He knew Ronon had said that they couldn’t make love but it was plain to see that one part of Ronon’s anatomy vehemently disagreed with that statement.

Ronon grabbed John’s hand, gently pulling it away from himself. “No. John. I told you. Not this time.”

“Come on, Ronon. This can’t be all one sided. It’s not fair.”

Ronon stared down at him. “You’re the one who was hurt.” He let go of John’s hand to trace the would be scar on John’s chest with the tips of his fingers. "I look at you and I'm already hard and aching. I want every inch of your body. There isn't a part of you that I don't dream about holding, caressing and tasting. There are things that I want to do to you that would surprise you. Hell, it surprises me." He paused and took a deep breath before he continued, "Besides, do you really think that I don't get any pleasure out of touching you or from seeing your reaction to my hands and my mouth on your body?" He trailed his hand down John’s chest, tangled his fingers through the hair covering him before lightly tickling his erection. “Look at me, John. See how much just touching you pleases me.”

Even though what Ronon had said went through him and he could clearly see the proof of Ronon’s words, a mulish expression began to form on John’s face. “If I can’t have you inside me then tell me how I can please you.”

A few minutes passed before Ronon, with an odd expression on his face, spoke. “That’s all I need.”

John was confused. “What?”

“The word you just said.” Ronon cursed himself silently. He couldn’t believe he was embarrassed after all that had transpired between them since he had brought John here.

It took John a minute before it dawned on him. _Ronon liked to hear him beg._ “That’s it. That’s all you need?” John couldn’t quite keep the doubt out of his voice. He couldn’t believe it. There was only one way he could know for sure. He stared into Ronon’s eyes and bit his lip before he whispered. “Please.” The tone of John’s voice was harsh with need as he uttered the word softly.

Ronon closed his eyes as wave after wave of pleasure washed over him, through him settling deep within his balls. To have a man like John, no, only John would do, to hear him beg for the pleasure he was giving him was all he needed at this moment. There would be time later when he was sure that John was completely healed from his ordeal then and only then would he bury himself deep within John’s body but until that time this would be more than enough. He slowly opened his eyes and stared into John’s face. “That’s it.”

John swallowed hard at the look of undisguised need in Ronon’s eyes. “Okay.” He couldn’t wait until he got the all clear from the doctor because the minute he did he was going to ride Ronon until neither of them could walk straight. _That was the plan._

“Okay?” Ronon’s eyes widened in disbelief. He hadn’t really believed it would be something that John would be willing to do. 

“Yeah, just tell me what to do.”

He didn’t have to hear any more. “Put your hands above your head and keep them there until I say otherwise.” Ronon waited patiently for John to do as he was told. 

“Why?”

“Because if you touch me while I’m touching you, kissing you, taking your dick deep into my mouth....” He broke off as sweat began to bead on his forehead. “I won’t risk hurting you.”

John didn’t ask anything else but quickly raised his hands above his head.

With a nod Ronon leaned down and placed a swift kiss on John’s lips before he scooted down the bed, his erection strained against John’s leg as he laid down beside him.

He leaned his head over and gently began to kiss John’s balls. First one and then the other, carefully caressing them with his mouth. “Say it.” His breath tickled John’s skin as he spoke.

Ronon had barely finished speaking before John's urgently whispered "Please" echoed through the room.

Slowly, his tongue began to travel the length of John’s cock wringing a groan from deep within him. Ronon stopped and raised his head to look John in the eyes. “Say it.”

“Please.”

He rewarded John by sliding his tongue around the head of his erection before pushing against the small slit tasting the precum that lingered on the opening.

John almost came unglued, he bucked wildly against Ronon’s mouth eager for the man to take him deep within the moist cavern of his mouth.

“Easy.” Ronon whispered as he placed his arm across John’s stomach effectively pinning him in the bed making him helpless to resist his administrations.

“That’s easy for you to say.” The words were forced through clenched teeth as John gripped the pillow beneath his head tight in his hand.

A smile curved Ronon’s lips as he licked John’s skin before lowering his mouth onto John’s waiting cock. 

John’s breath caught in his throat as he waited for all that heat to close around him, to begin sucking and pulling at him until he exploded with pleasure. But the touch never came. He was in Ronon’s mouth but his lips, his tongue weren’t touching John’s cock it was just Ronon’s breath driving him crazy. “What the hell?”

Ronon eased his mouth away. “What’s wrong, John?”

“Come on. Now you’re just fucking with me.”

He slid one hand between John’s legs to gently stroke against the puckered opening as he leaned forward his mouth almost touching John’s erection. “I told you not this time.” 

John’s cock jumped as Ronon’s breath teased against it. “Damn it, Ronon. Quit teasing. I need...”

A deep, possessive growl escaped Ronon as he took a deep breath and exhaled on the tip of John’s cock. “You know what you have to say, John.” 

Ronon’s lips moved across the length of John’s cock sending shivers racing up and down his spine. “Please.” He whispered as his hands tightened, crushing the pillow between his fingers. It was all he could do not to grab Ronon and urge him to take him into his mouth. But he knew better. Ronon had told him to keep his hands above his head and there they would stay. But his need was so great and Ronon’s mouth was so close he could almost feel the pleasure that would be his hovering just out of reach. “Please, Ronon.” The desperate plea was pulled from him.

His blood roared in his ears as lightning ripped through him as Ronon finally took him in his mouth. The pleasure was exquisite as Ronon’s fingers danced gently from his ass to his balls before closing his hand around his hard length. Ronon swirled his tongue around the width of John’s cock before sucking him gently into the back of his throat. The muscles of his throat constricted around John’s cock as Ronon swallowed pulling him deeper into his mouth.

“PleasePleasePleasePlease.” The words ran together in a litany of prayer as John’s orgasm ripped through him. Lights flashed in his eyes as his toes curled and Ronon’s name burst from him.

The sound of John’s pleas sent wicked delight shooting through his delighted tormentor, Ronon couldn’t stop himself from pushing his own cock against John’s thigh over and over again. As he swallowed every drop of John’s come a deep guttural sound escaped him and he pushed himself faster against John’s thigh.

John’s breath came in ragged gulps as he tried to get his heartbeat back under control. But the feel of Ronon’s cock sliding against him didn’t help with that. He reached down and grabbed a handful of Ronon’s hair. 

Ronon raised his head and looked up into John’s eyes, raw, unadulterated need was written plainly on his face. John slowly caressed Ronon’s bottom lip with his fingers as his other hand tightened in Ronon’s hair he whispered softly, “Please.”

Ronon felt as if the top of his head was going to explode from the pleasure coursing through him at John’s plea. He moved faster and faster until finally his world crashed around him as his orgasm shot from him, coating John’s thigh and softening cock. His head fell against John’s stomach as he lay there gasping from breath.

John pushed Ronon’s dreadlocks out of his eyes. “Not that I’m complaining but what brought this on?”

“It was too close.” He couldn’t stop himself from shivering at the remembered horror of almost loosing John.

He should have known Ronon was blaming himself for what had happened. “It wasn’t your fault, Ronon.”

“How can you say that? If I hadn’t left your side, if I had only looked back in time. I could have stopped it from happening.” He raised his head and scooted closer, his larger body almost covered John's but Ronon was careful to keep as much of his weight off of John as possible. He gently ran his fingers down the red line on John’s chest. They were lucky, if the shot had gotten less than an inch further over then John wouldn’t be here. Another shiver of fear raced through him. This was the worst fear he had ever known.

John ran his hand down Ronon’s shoulders; his fingers made soothing patterns against the soft skin. “You can’t always be there to save me, big guy.”

No matter what he had to do, if he had to dog every step that John made from now on, he would never go through the fear of almost losing him ever again. “Watch me.” Ronon whispered as he rolled off of John and pulled him into his arms.


End file.
